Because my angry uterus could use some cheer. And I just had a real memorable one.
Guy comes in for a completely elective ortho surgery. 60s, white, totally mobile and oriented. His case is scheduled for noon but he shows up at 7am because “He doesn’t want to wait around all day for this bullshit” Lobby calls me but I say I don’t have any room for him until 10, his scheduled arrival time. He tells the desk girl who is sweet as pie that he doesn’t like that and continues to ask every 20 min when “everyone else will have their shit together”
So at 0957 I go out to retrieve this peach and he is huffy and mutters “it’s about time” We begrudgingly go through his meds and history because why can’t we just look at the chart why do we always have to ask him questions and why does he need an IV because he supposed to get the gas stuff etc. Wife looks embarrassed, but also like she’s used to Harold’s rants and raves.
Now it’s 1130. He’s consented and cozy in his gown. But we’re a level 1 trauma and he gets bumped for some open femur fractures in a pedestrian vs motorcycle incident. I go through my usual “sorry guy. It sucks, but if the tables were turned you’d want us to do the same for you right? It shouldn’t be too much longer. Thanks for your patience”
No. He does not agree. He rips every monitor off his very hairy chest, gets super red faced and looks me dead in the eye “I DONT CARE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE!! I ONLY CARE ABOUT MEEEEEE”
Like in theory, I know people are selfish but damnnnnn.
He did not get his surgery. He chugged a contraband coke and ate 3 snickers out of his Fanny pack then asked me for a coffee for the road. The OR called me exactly 3 minutes after he stormed out to tell me they were ready for him. Poor Harry. I hope his shoulder survives this.